Once upon a time wacky..

Suatu ketika seseorang pernah mengatakan hal yang menurut saya "corny" or should i say it's the most cheesy pick up line ever!. Dia bilang : "Nao itu orangnya ceria banget ya, senyum terus. Enak gitu dilihatnya". Orang lain yang mendengar hal yang sama mungkin akan mengeryitkan dahi, lalu akan berkata dalam hati "WTF are u trying to do man?!", dan lalu hening, absurd, salting. Karena entah kenapa kadang manusia salah menangkap sinyal, sehingga otak salah interpretasi dan salah mengerti. Apalagi kalau hati juga ikut bicara, kadang logika ikut salah sangka.

Namun, saya berani mengklaim kalau saya berbeda. Terus terang saya pribadi yang cukup optimis (berguna banget lowh di CV :D). I simply take what the man said as a damn compliment, beside.. he was a tall good looking guy. Saya balas pujian mas tadi dengan senyum paling manis yang bisa saya produksi saat itu juga, sambil berkata : "Masak sih mas?, anyway.. makasih ya :)". Dipuji pria ganteng kalau gak senyum kan kelewatan, hehe.

Kejadian tadi membawa pikiran saya melanglang buana ke film Comrades : Almost a Love Story (tián mì mì). Bagaimana nasib (sesuatu yang masih terjadi, masih akan terjadi, masih berjalan, dan masih menyimpan banyak kemungkinan) dan takdir (sesuatu yang sudah terjadi, juga sesuatu yang ditetapkan Tuhan kepada setiap makhluk-Nya) pada akhirnya mempertemukan kembali dan mempersatukan Li Qiao dan Li Xiao-Jun. Comrades merupakan film Hong Kong Second Wave besutan Peter Chan yang rilis pada tahun 1996, menceritakan tentang dua orang warga negara Cina Daratan yang bermigrasi ke Hong Kong untuk mengadu nasib. Li Qiao yang oportunis memanfaatkan Li Xiao-Jun yang naif untuk membantu Qiao mengerjakan pekerjaan serabutannya, dari mulai mengirim bunga, berjualan kaset Teresa Teng di malam tahun baru hingga jual beli saham. Konflik mulai muncul ketika Qiao dan Xiao memutuskan untuk menghabiskan waktu bersama pada malam tahun baru. 

There's always something (interesting) to talk about love. How people can have a very different opinion on how love or other things but similar to love occurs. Love, passion, lust, compassion, bla bla bla.. serupa tapi tak sama. 

I define love as a spark between two people, a tiny but strong chemistry, which will give you goosebumps. Although it could twisted our minds and feelings (like how Qiao insisted to keep the comrades-state when she actually starting to have feelings for Xiao, or how Lotus in the end went away together with Wu Long in The Reincarnation of Golden Lotus-1989, or how Wan kept his obsession for Li-zhen in 2046-2004, and Wah's affair with his cousin, Ngor in As Tears Go By-1988), somehow it's addictive and we couldn't resist to keep going back, looking for another juice of love. It's a power of hope and one of among other things which keeps us to move forward. And i have to admit where there's love, there will be also commitments. How you decide to make your love work, how you put any effort to sustain your love.. that's called commitments. 

Berkali-kali Qiao dipisahkan dari Xiao. Berkali-kali juga saya berharap film ini menemukan akhirnya. Comrades membuat perasaan saya bercampur aduk, bahagia, sedih, bahagia lagi, sedih lagi. Alurnya persis drama Korea dan drama Indonesia yang ratusan episode, semua serba kebetulan dan pihak yang saling mencinta tidak mau mengatakan perasaan yang sesungguhnya kepada orang yang mereka cintai. Untungnya film berakhir bahagia, saya pun lega :D.  

As someone who's optimistic and believes in dreams, i can really relate with Qiao. There's nothing wrong with having goals dreams anyway, as long as of course if your dreams are followed by your continuing hard work :). 

And for my story, perhaps I was destined to meet the tall handsome guy for some good reason, to find comrades, to find love, to fulfill my hope or probably he's my dream guy :). 

Who knows what will happen next, but I'll continue my journey for sure (berlalu santai sambil dengerin lagunya Teresa Teng - Tián mì mì).




Footnote:
Images are taken form various websites:

1. 2046 (2004) movie poster is taken from 411posters
2. The Reincarnation of Golden Lotus (1989) movie poster is taken from hkfilm
3. Comrades : Almost a Love Story (tián mì mì, 1996) movie poster is taken from subscene
4. As Tears Go By (1988) movie poster is taken from apposteraffair

One thing i actually like after joining the club is i suddenly have an access to movies i haven't known before, hell! i didn't know it existed. I know a few common genre of films such as: romantic comedy, adventure, science fiction, biographical, chick-flick, horror (slasher, eerie, thriller, suspense, supernatural), action, documentary, erotic, comedy, crime, drama, fantasy, and animated. While in fact, there are films which are also classified by what current movement / generation was occurred at that time (for example: Hong Kong new/ second wave, Beat generation and so on), the way they produced and probably many more. 

Chantal Akerman films were picked as August movie screening as it's related to group's current topic of discussion as well, feminism!. We shared articles and list of movies related to the Belgian film maker. The term of feminism always excites me to talk about it more further. Why?, because like other social movements / ideologies, every people has different concepts and opinions of it and the way they understand their own notions is reflected through their way of living. 

I decided to watch some Chantal's movies myself for the sake of research and fulfilling my sense of curiosity. The first movie i saw was Jeanne Dielman, 23, Quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles. It's an art-house type of film which has 201 minutes of duration. At first i was shocked, because i watched many independent - Cannes version of movies but i honestly never had an experience watching any movies such as Jeanne Dielman. There's only a few dialogue between the characters and the movie was very slow. The film basically shows you Jeanne Dielman, the main character who's also a woman and how she do her daily routine. How Jeanne was having conflicts with herself and gradually slipped from day one to day three is what the movie tries to portray. 

Long story short, i pushed myself to watch 2 more films and i ended up being disappointed. Because they have the same pattern, less dialogue, the movie was very slow, and somehow the characters always has the same problem: they tend to struggle with themselves, a melancholy and seems to enjoy their solitude. Witnessing frustrated people in some way will make you kinda feel the same. I frankly don't know what the director was trying to say through her movies, but after i watched Jeanne Dielman, my mind suddenly flies to my mom. I was wondering did she ponder about things at the kitchen like Jeanne did?, does she love being a mother?, does juggle between her job at the office and being a mom trouble her?, and other strange questions popped into my head. 

As the correlation to feminism, i never consider myself as a feminist or any specific principles which are fabricated by human if i may say so. I believe people are too complex to be classified into one distinctive category or understanding only one philosophy. Why don't you let yourself to absorb as many as possible ideas you can get, meeting new people as many as possible you can find, sharing thoughts with any class of society, do anything to keep yourself from being dull and narrow minded, to make a progress and move further.

I saw Jeanne as a regular human being who's facing difficulties and have her own way to manage her emotions, but sometimes she probably just had enough and had a break down. How she raise from her falls and move on is everything that mattered.  

Feminism for me is simply about being yourself and how you act according to your part and appreciating other people. Equitable does not mean equal, but how you place everything appropriately regarding every single feasible aspect. 

Still confused?

Don't worry, you'll master it through time :).


Footnote :
Images were taken from many sources, which are:
criterionconfession, pinterest and delcampe

What does a connection mean?. I’ve read a blog post which talked about the differentiation between connections and relationships (I’ll link the blog on the footnotes below). The author brilliantly describing how connections are simply just dots within the quite long ‘line’ of a relationship. It also opened up my mind and tickled me to write this blog post.  

Now we’ll do a (silly) quick Q&A for ourselves. Ask yourself these questions and answer them all in 15 seconds (don’t cheat!, even though I know you want to!). 

Done?, then I want you to analyze the result. How the number decreased continuously as you answer more questions. Why?. This is what has been bugging me, because I realized that I didn’t actually make it to number 4!.

I have many people know where I lived/ where I work, they knew my favorite movies and music, they congratulated my birthday through social media, they liked my photos on instagram and commented about my status on Facebook, hell! I even hang out with them regularly. I’m surrounded by some nice chatty people but dunno why I somehow felt the rigorous pain of loneliness when I was among them. 

When you answered question number 1 until number 3, that’s how you reached connections, you were making 100% contacts (in my superficial opinion, a contact has different levels of achievement). A phone call, a pat in the back, a smile, or a handshake could be a basic definition of a contact. You could measure any of those form of contacts until it reached 100%, until you’ve got people in your surrounded environment but only in a productive and safe way. You feel the necessity to interact with other autonomous entities without merging with them, just because each entities still have boundaries which define who and what we are. 

Relationships talk in a higher level. The point when you keep the repeated connections between people over the extended amount of time, that’s when you gain relationships. That’s when you scored for number 4. But unfortunately to build relationships you have to obtain mutual handshakes. 

Yes darling, mutual!. Because to attain relationships, each parties has to have the will to connect + build and maintain the connection in a certain time continuously. And you know what?, not all connections lead to relationships. Connections can be dead-end and fail to blossom into relationships for a number of reasons. One of the main flame retardants to kindling a relationship happens early on when connections are still transactional and one party simply isn’t providing much value in the exchange. 

I am very aware that one of basic human needs is socializing, making friends, meeting people with the same background/ hobby/ obsession, being heard, talking to other people with various opinions, brainstorming, being inspired, etc. These things lead to interactions with other human beings, which could form a connection and if you’re open up enough for other people to open up to you then the relationships are only a matter of time, to be built, to be cherished. 

Footnote: Some statements were quoted from the vital edge .

Feel free to visit the blog for your reference!.