What does a connection mean?. I’ve read a blog post which talked about the differentiation between connections and relationships (I’ll link the blog on the footnotes below). The author brilliantly describing how connections are simply just dots within the quite long ‘line’ of a relationship. It also opened up my mind and tickled me to write this blog post.  

Now we’ll do a (silly) quick Q&A for ourselves. Ask yourself these questions and answer them all in 15 seconds (don’t cheat!, even though I know you want to!). 

Done?, then I want you to analyze the result. How the number decreased continuously as you answer more questions. Why?. This is what has been bugging me, because I realized that I didn’t actually make it to number 4!.

I have many people know where I lived/ where I work, they knew my favorite movies and music, they congratulated my birthday through social media, they liked my photos on instagram and commented about my status on Facebook, hell! I even hang out with them regularly. I’m surrounded by some nice chatty people but dunno why I somehow felt the rigorous pain of loneliness when I was among them. 

When you answered question number 1 until number 3, that’s how you reached connections, you were making 100% contacts (in my superficial opinion, a contact has different levels of achievement). A phone call, a pat in the back, a smile, or a handshake could be a basic definition of a contact. You could measure any of those form of contacts until it reached 100%, until you’ve got people in your surrounded environment but only in a productive and safe way. You feel the necessity to interact with other autonomous entities without merging with them, just because each entities still have boundaries which define who and what we are. 

Relationships talk in a higher level. The point when you keep the repeated connections between people over the extended amount of time, that’s when you gain relationships. That’s when you scored for number 4. But unfortunately to build relationships you have to obtain mutual handshakes. 

Yes darling, mutual!. Because to attain relationships, each parties has to have the will to connect + build and maintain the connection in a certain time continuously. And you know what?, not all connections lead to relationships. Connections can be dead-end and fail to blossom into relationships for a number of reasons. One of the main flame retardants to kindling a relationship happens early on when connections are still transactional and one party simply isn’t providing much value in the exchange. 

I am very aware that one of basic human needs is socializing, making friends, meeting people with the same background/ hobby/ obsession, being heard, talking to other people with various opinions, brainstorming, being inspired, etc. These things lead to interactions with other human beings, which could form a connection and if you’re open up enough for other people to open up to you then the relationships are only a matter of time, to be built, to be cherished. 

Footnote: Some statements were quoted from the vital edge .

Feel free to visit the blog for your reference!.